"You look amazing!"

We feel compelled to say it.

"You look great!"

Even if it's true, there's something that feels a little forced behind it. Even if it's true, we feel this insane urge to put words on it, to vocalize it, because there is a piece of us that recognizes the importance in looking great. There is value in looking great. And, in saying so, we are adding to the value placed in looking great.

So when I hear, "You look amazing!", another egg is placed in that basket. When all compliments are derived from looking better than average, the basket gets heavy. And look at the other baskets-- they're so lonely, so empty. Just a couple eggs in the "You're a great mom!", or "You're brilliant!", or "Holy smokes, those are beautiful cupcakes!" baskets (Or no eggs in that last one, because I honestly cannot make a pretty cupcake. Delicious, yes, but not pretty). The eggs are missing from the "You are so thoughtful", "You do great things," and the "You show so much passion" baskets.

Then I wake up. And I see a zit. Or I need a hair cut. Or my shirt creeps up, and I see the saggy, stretchy skin that screams post-partum.

And the basket tips over, and my eggs of self worth are scrambled.

Those eggs were misguided. So don't tell me I look amazing. Tell me I AM amazing. Unless you don't think I am-- then don't say anything. Because when you tip over a basket with no eggs in it, it makes a much, much smaller mess.