A Dose Of Reality

After writing my last post, I continued reading Train Like A Mother, which is a fantastic read. It was going through various training plans, which I grumpily skipped through, knowing full well that I wouldn't be participating in any of them any time soon. Then came the section about injury-- and suddenly the text had my full attention. I wanted it so desperately to tell me some magic formula to calculate exactly when I would be able to start running again, but instead, it told me what I already knew-- rest, ice, and just wait it out.

Ugh.

It also said something I hadn't really considered. Training and racing through an injury could result in months of recovery, rather than a couple weeks, after a big race. As frustrating as sitting and waiting is, attempting to race with my injury could sideline me long term.

Frustrated but resigned, I told the husband my decision: I'm going to wait to do my first marathon.

My husband then responded with something I hadn't thought of, but definitely confirmed my decision.

You could do the race, but you'd be doing it knowing that you weren't able to train fully for it. Then you'd always be wondering "what if?", and you could never be satisfied with the time in which you finished. 

I got so many supportive comments from people I didn't even know read my blog, telling me to do the race, and just race to finish. I'll be so proud of myself for completing the race, and will be filled with so many good feelings. Ideally, this would be the case. Unfortunately, I hold myself to a (sometimes impossibly) high standard, and I know that completing a marathon would not be enough. I could run a marathon (well, once the injury heals), just like I was in good enough shape where I would have been comfortable if someone said, "Hey, we signed you up for a half Ironman next weekend... you down?". But just finishing something isn't enough for me. I need to know that I left my heart and soul on the pavement of that race. And being sidelined during peak training prior to a marathon does not allow me to do that.

So now I'm attempting something that I read from Train Like A Mother... pilates. It's odd going from feeling exhausted and sweaty from a workout to feeling like I burned a grand total of four calories in the hour (I'm going to find a different DVD, methinks)... but I know it's for the greater good.

It's for the greater good. Right?

Hopefully this mentality will stop me from cursing people I see out running lately. Apparently if I'm injured, my knee jerk reaction is EVERYONE ELSE SHOULD BE INJURED, CONFLABIT!

I'm working on it. I think I'm nicer when I'm running.